Life Behind Lids

The world is black and white, shades occasional but there and not here

My eyes they see in color, closed but not asleep

Opening them up, the world goes back to blank, words reflect no color, reds they show no hue

A person whispers words that mean nothing with eyes wide open

Your lids flutter closed and the mumbled thoughts become clear, you nod along understanding

You lay there in the dark, remembering your day, realizing things you never saw before

Seeing the things hidden behind the bland teacher’s musings

Find the hidden joke, insult or brokenness behind a friends interested trill

With eyes closed, blocking out the light, the brightness is blinding

Perhaps it’s a trait of the introverted type

Maybe everyone has discovered that the world is two-D, and it’s one of those things passed over but never discussed

Playing scenes of conversations long passed, clicking your tongue, I should have said that instead

The question asked in class, made a fool out of you, you knew the answer after all

I refuse to open my eyes, I hiss

My hidden world is too complex to leave, too bright and bold to clash with grey

Too pure to splash with fake laughs and comments directed to kill

Other people’s eyes give away too much, they don’t know how to have them open without hiding

I am convinced that I am clever

My eyes show nothing that I feel or of what they have seen in the dark

My talent is one envied by many, criticized by some, and not believed by those who know me so well

It is not a secret that the outside skies and trees and flowers and oceans reflect some of the beauty within us

That beauty is not reflected in the harsh words and squinted vision of those I pass in the day

You pass in the day

We pass in the day

You are

We are

The vision of parents is helpful to children, they are blocked off from the world we see, the passcode changing between generations, kicking them out to let us fill their still warm places

They are blind to our words, secret meanings behind a tone, glint of the eye that means so much

They think they are wise, that they have lived it once and know all our hidden expressions

The truth is though, that those of us that wear these hidden expressions know not what it is that they mean

I am colder wide awake, eyes open to the world

Warm in the comfort of my dark lightness

Dark lightness is what it is, a darkness that lifts the burden of searching from my shoulders, giving my conflicted memories a rest as I dissect each thing moment by moment without any struggle

As hard as it is

The lack of fun we often associate with our eyes open

Is worth it, you see

For we all see what is out there without always needing the comfort of our closed eyes to see how the day has gone by

Your eyes

My eyes

Our eyes

Their eyes

Open to see, but never understand, even in the quiet, closed off comfort of the life behind lids